1. Describe the exercise and assessment process. What did you discover about yourself? What area have you chosen to be a focus of growth and development? Why? What are some specific exercises or activities that you can implement to foster greater wellness in this area?
This weeks assignment humbled me, it made me cry. I live each day trying to be a good person. I work hard, I am honest, I care about others, but do not truly enjoy life. I hold myself to such standards that I hold myself back from letting go. My pride comes from raising two great sons and all that went with that as a single mom. Myself, all I know is work, I don’t know how to ask for help, I just cry and get over it. I work because I have to, not like a post in the DB that it was work to serve the Lord. I enjoy my job, but have not reached a level of satisfaction and completeness yet. I questioned if I was ever happy? Ever totally secure with my life and who I was. Always hoping someone would see who I truly was….a great person, that wanted to be saved…not just by herself. I used to say all I wanted in life was three things: peace in my life, laugher, and love. It is not that easy because each comes with its own circumstances to reach that goal, of course number one would be that my children would be fine and that no harm would come to them. The quote from this weeks reading really hit me, “The mind is both the source of happiness and the root of suffering”. The exercises are difficult for me because I have to let go, sit down and relax and not always be on the move to accomplish something. Downtime is good, today it made me feel and cry. Maybe it has led me to realize a lot about myself today. I want to reach this oneness within myself. I wrote that saying on my refrigerator to look at daily to remind myself to choose me; to heal myself, to choose happiness , to be grateful and to let others help me along the way.
Barb,
ReplyDeleteWhat a powerful post! I think we can all relate to what you said. For one thing, most of us spend so much time worrying about our children, husbands, job, and other family members such as parents and grandparents, we have little time to spend worrying about ourselves. How do we love and care for others, if we do not love ourself enough to take care of us? That is the number one question.
We do not take enough time for ourselves to reflect on our life so we continue on blindly day after day. If we truly found our calling, and we truly enjoyed our work, would it be work? I believe if people really looked inside and found what they were put here to do, there would be many more happy people and more healthy people.
I know I want to be more involved in helping organizations that help people in need. I believe by helping others we are also helping ourselves.
In Health
Michelle C.
Michelle,
ReplyDeleteThat is the question, what is our calling? We go through life doing what is right, but will we ever find that complete feeling? I used to ask myself if I died tomorrow what would people remember about me? That I make great chocolate chip cookies, I was a good mom, my house was really clean, or will they see me or did I let them in to see me? It makes me question me--and what I want. I am going to school at 52, spending alot of money, what will I do when I am done in April? Will I make a difference, will making a difference be able to support me? Can I have happiness and security all the way around or will I have to choose to survive?
Have a great night!
Barb
Barb,
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so open in your blog. Keep crying, keep feeling and quit trying to figure it out in your head. That may seem blunt, however, I have been where you are and re-visit that place every time growth takes place. I am going to be very open and blunt with what I have learned in the last 5 years with growth, so please take in all in love. You said you have trouble letting go, so let go! You know the answers to ALL of the questions you mentioned above to Michelle, yet your mind is controlling you again by repeating the questions. So, answer the questions! Read them aloud and answer them aloud: Did you make good chocolate chip cookies? Were you a good mom? Was your house clean? Did you share your heart with people? Do you want to share more of your heart with people?
See, the past gave you insight, use it, but don't live there, move forward. I, too, am a single mom and guess what, my house is a wreck, but I ate dinner with my kids, helped them with their homework and am now doing mine, and they know that is just the way it is right now. I used to be a great house keeper, and I still am, it is just my circumstances right now that don't allow it. Guess what? I have no idea what I will do with my degree, just that the door opened and I was led to start and finish it, so I let go and trust that the next door will open when I am ready for it also.
Oddly, one quote from our reading has been on my fridge for 5 years now, "Have PATIENCE with everything unresolved in your heart, to try to love the questions themselves. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them The point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the future" Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903
What that means is now that you have the insight into the past, and the education from this class, use it for your growth, but Let go of the need to control. What would you do if you knew what you were going to do with your degree? Could you do it right now? If not, then pray about it, meditate on it and then live today, live the blog, live the class.
Growth is a process, a journey, it will NEVER be complete until we pass away, therefore the feeling of completeness is not a destination but the feeling one has when there is peace and balance. The feeling of peace comes with inner happiness, but this does not mean we will never be sad, it just means we understand and apply the saying, "This too shall pass". Be confident in yourself, be confident that you raised a great family and you did what needed to be done on a daily basis for your own unique situation. Now continue to let go and grow, and as you do, your intuition will grow stronger and you will know what to do with your degree, you will know that you will leave a legacy of love and kindness and you won't even need to know if anyone liked your cookies. :-)
Thanks Diana,
ReplyDeleteSomedays the truth has to come out and then I move on. I keep pushing forward, sometimes my fears get the best of me. I have to let go and just relax and believe in myself. Thank you.
Mrs. Fields Competitor...Barb
Barb,
ReplyDeleteI totally understand, I do the same thing :-) I have a best friend who will often slap me with the truth. Enjoy the journey.